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July 23, 2006

May I introduce you to....

MARAMA

Now, I know you are thinking "Marama? How threatening is that name?" Oh, honey, never underestimate a smartass. There is a definite reason behind it. And it is specifically for my good friends at Blizzard.

Behind the Name:

Marama:

Gender: Feminine

Usage: Pacific/Polynesian Mythology
Means "moon" in Maori. In Maori and other Polynesian mythology she was the god of the moon and death.

I promised Jason and friends that I would definitely moon then.

Here you go guys. You have officially been mooned. Meet Marama. Goddess of moon. Mwah!

tags: gaming, World of Warcraft

Posted by Jenn @ 07:27 PM • Comments (118) • TrackBack (0)

July 22, 2006

After hours of labor, the gamer is born

The day my computer was finally made "game ready" to be able to load and play WoW without a lot of lag and headache, the actual game installation began. Did you ever see a 50's sitcome (think I Love Lucy) when the woman is giving birth and the fathers are pacing in the waiting room? Nervous and anxious and oh so ready to meet their little baby? Totally what my house looked like as Clint got the game installed. The boys were pacing and chattering about it.

"What are you going to name your character?
Are you going to be Alliance or Horde?
Do you know what you are going to learn how to do?
Really, names mean everything. Have you thought about it?"

It was really quite amusing to watch. But finally....the labor was over, the delivery complete. We now had a new bouncing baby Gamer in the house. Lord help us all!

As I walked to the office I was trailed by all of the children. They all want to know what I was going to do. Each had advice for me. Even the 5 year old who has watched her brothers and father play. Everyone had hints and tips and suggestions.

I finally had to tell everyone to go away. To let me try to figure this all out with minimal help. In other words, don't speak until I ask for help. The first order of business. A name. But that is an entry all unto itself. And is just for my buddies at Blizzard. Because I owe them.

Posted by Jenn @ 07:18 PM • Comments (5) • TrackBack (0)

July 21, 2006

The mailman brings the challenge

Soon after the email conversations with Jason and other developers, I expected at best a World of Warcraft t-shirt and a note saying, "Give us a try!" But no, these boys play hard!

In my care package was something that no one could resist. Even if I tried, I would have been slapped down by my gamer family. They stood in awe as I opened my box. Even a non-gamer such as myself was amazed by what I found.

Inside the box was the following:

Now that in and off itself impressed me. But the gamers in the family were freaking out to see what was inside. The following is an image of just SOME of the included fun stuff from Blizzard and Jason.

What I did not get a picture of (but will) are the two t-shirts that were included. One for the Alliance and one for the Horde. Oh yeah, I still don't know which is which, but I am convinced this will not be a foreign language for long.

IT IS SO ON!

Posted by Jenn @ 07:06 PM • Comments (115) • TrackBack (0)

July 20, 2006

With comments like these...

Some people who stumble upon my original post don't really get the concept of "satire" therefore they find themselves leaving comments that, frankly, have me in stitches laughing! So, in a rage, they decide to descend upon the blog in a sad attempt to flame. Here is an example of a llamer gamer who decided to post under the name Bif and came from a forum that, well, wanted to spread the hate so they don't really want a link

People! With material like this, they are writing this blog for me! Feel free to find Bif and say howdy!

Dear madam,

Don't buy this game for your child. Do not pay for their subscription. Grow some "balls" and tell them "no". Try being a PARENT for once in your misbegotten life and take control of the brat. A child isn't a fashion accessory like a Lexus or Prada shoes, it's a human being. Plunking a child in front of a computer or television and expecting it to raise the child for you is irresponsible. Take some responsibility for them and be a part of their life! It's bad enough I have to sacrifice everything I enjoy because you lazy "parents" can't bother to be what you claim you are, now I have to give up my games because you can't be bothered to control your spawn? Don't think so. Tough luck honey, you squirted the mini human out, YOU take care of it!

But really, not to be outdone in eloquence, his friend Oxi who offered the fine literary commentary of:

Dear Jenn,

You are a tool.

Be impressed, people Be impressed.

Posted by Jenn @ 05:14 PM • Comments (139) • TrackBack (0)

July 18, 2006

How it all began

How in the world did a writer known for her Mommyblogging suddenly find herself starting a gamer blog? It all began with a rant on my blog Mommy Needs Coffee. You see, after night after night of being abadonned by not only my husband but my two tweens as well, I had reached a point where nothing but a blog rant would do. That is how this open letter came into existance.

Never imagining that anyone would read it beyond my normal readers, I was shocked to actually hear back from one of the developers. Okay, truth be told, I nearly soiled my pants when I saw the title of the email. "Yes, we read your blog." Oh no! What had my mouth/blog gotten me into this time?

But it turns out, the email was actually saying how much they all enjoyed the entry and that they were passing around the office. Passsing. It. Around. Before I knew it, that letter was linked to World of Warcraft forums, websites and blogs. I was not yet sure if I was in trouble and seen as a whiner or was just amusing these people.

It turns out it was amusing them. I began a fun email exchange with Jason (including requests for the much anticipated moon that I promised to send the developers so they could kiss my ass) and Jim. I had thrown down the gauntlet. Somehow Jason had managed to charm me enough into agreeing on my own free will to give World of Warcrap...err...Warcraft a chance.

That was all it took. The next thing I knew, I was told to watch the mail.

With that, the challenge had begun.

Could a team of developers and a family of gamers turn this mommyblogger into a gamer?

[Read the entire original entry below]

[originally posted on Mommy Needs Coffee on April 11, 2006]

Dear Creators of World of Warhell (or Warcrap--whatever floats your boat),

I recently visited your website. I read your section about "What is World of Warcraft" and this is what you had to say:

World of Warcraft is an online role-playing experience set in the award-winning Warcraft universe. Players assume the roles of Warcraft heroes as they explore, adventure, and quest across a vast world. World of Warcraft is a "Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game" which allows thousands of players to interact within the same world. Whether adventuring together or fighting against each other in epic battles, players will form friendships, forge alliances, and compete with enemies for power and glory.

I have a suggestion that would help in better describing your game. Check this:

World of Warcraft is an online HELL set in the addictive-winning Warhell universe. Addicts assume the roles or Warhell junkies as they explore, adventure and quest for a bigger and better fix. World of Warhell is a "Massively Addictive Multiplayer Online Rave That Will Cause Your Loved Ones to Pull out Their Own Hair in Frustration" which will allow thousands of players to interactively become addicted within the same version of hell. Whether fighting together or against each other until their eyes are bloodshot and half blind, players will form gangs, forge support groups of addiction, and compete with enemies that are more batshit crazy from the game than they are all in the name of non-existant power and glory.

See? I really think that my explanation is so much better. Kind of like a warning of sorts.

Why would I waste my time writing this? Well, that is quite simple. Last night some strange man with hair standing on end with eyes red and glazed over walked out of my office searching for food in my kitchen. As I screamed and nearly beat him upside the head with a rolling pin, it wasn't until a vague sense of recognition set in that I dropped my never-used-except-when-threatened rolling pin that I had brandished as a weapon to beat this stranger. It turned out to only be my son. It has just been that long since I have seen anything but the back of his head for so long. Seeing him come at me scared the beejeezus out of me.

Together, my husband--at least I think it is my husband, the back of his head is familiar-- and my oldest son have initiated my youngest son into their cult of War of Worldhell. I have even heard the phrase muttered more than once, "Come on! Everyone is doing it!" (Little game-pushing bullies!)

I resent that I have to hear day in and day out about new "friends" of ours who have joined their gang guild. And then, to have those same gangmembers guildmembers calling me asking me to join. They are worse than Amway! I am forced to ask you: Are you sending subliminal messages that cause my family to be forced to have their intelligence, self-control and ability to just say NO sucked out of them?

I have resorted to wearing protective eye-wear and earplugs when I enter the office game room hell. Just in case. I don't want to unsuspectedly be sucked in against my will.

Seriously, I have a favor to ask. I think it is the least you can do considering you have in essence made me a loner in my own home. An outcast, if you will. Can you like cut all of the servers offline for one weekend? Just one weekend. I heard my son has grown 2 inches. I wouldn't know. I haven't seen him standing up in months. And my husband? He began telling me all about his amazing cool pet and some trick he taught it before I realized he wasn't talking about our Doberbutt but rather some mythical illusion that must be a side effect of the Warhell experience.

I know your game is increasingly popular and all, but I must say...I harbor much bitterness and hatred towards you. I realize you will probably never see this as you are working on and building up your cult, but if by chance you do, would it be okay if mooned you. Because really, the entire cult of War of Worldhell kissing my ass would probably help me feel a little bit better.

With the utmost fear of your evil and dread of your upcoming new release,

Jenn

ps- If you see my husband or sons online, can you please send them my new address? I don't think they will notice I left until the power goes out or (more likely) their food runs out.

tags: gaming, parenting, world of warcraft

Posted by Jenn @ 12:36 AM • Comments (6) • TrackBack (0)