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August 30, 2006

Level 14 and I only quit once

In one night I managed to level to 14. Go me! And that was without the help of the Males. Oh, don't get me wrong. Prior to that round there was a lot of "help" from the Males. Which included them telling me what to do IN STEREO but none of them saying the same thing. We should all know where that leads.

To me screaming, "I hate this game. I hate geeks. I hate everything about this. I QUIT. I am totally deleting this game and you all can just SHUT UP!" Then I took my hissy-fit self into the other room ignoring the Males as they called me back to try to calm me down and chill out.

See, to them, it is all so SIMPLE. All so EASY. To me, it is being dumped in China with no one who speaks English around and trying to understand what the hell everyone is saying. Yeah. I am that dumb at this. However, I did manage to get a quest (in my new land and all) and finish it (after only being killed 3 times) AND level up. Oh, yes, Mama Marama rocks the WoW world with her brilliance.

(Shuddup. It was good for me!)

Now, I have to play again. The drug of World of Warcraft is hooking me. I must find a meeting a support group a new quest to go kick some evil being butt.

I just hope the kids remember to eat dinner, take a bath and do their homework, because tonight, Mama has some questing to do.

Posted by Jenn @ 07:22 PM • Comments (7) • TrackBack (0)

August 28, 2006

Hail to the queen, she's the one who throws the tantrums

Okay, I admit it. I throw temper tantrums when it comes to WoW. Not the sweet mommy-ish kind of tantrums that June Cleaver would throw:

"Gosh, golly, that danged Moonkin killed me again. I am just so blasted mad, by gosh."

Oh, no! We are talking more along the lines of:
"Oh for the love of *bleep* that *bleep* just *bleep* *bleep* and then *bleep*!! I am so going to go kick some *bleep* and then take that Moonkin's *bleep* and *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*!"

Temper.

But it is all in fun. Or so I tell my males. The husband gets it. The eldest son is forced to wear earphones and listen to team-speak or music. But every now and then I hear him snicker and know he heard something. Oh, sure, I make it sound like I am using ALL profanity. Quite the contrary. I am very, very creative in the things I say I going to do. But even when I am creative, I should probably bleep it out. Not one F-bomb and very few 4 letter words. (Only ones that can make it into PG movies and then rarely.) It is the force of the creative threats that is...disturbing. Yet, oh so fun!

Tonight, I come to you as a level 13. (Hail to the Queen!) I had to find some little lost soul gone to the dark side and kill her in order for her to return to her beloved so that she could rest peacefully. Poor thing. Until I got killed 5 times just trying to find her and get near her. After that, I figured she needed killin'. (That is justified defense in the South.) Sure, there was a sweet reunion with her beloved and all, but after the amount of time I spent hunting her down, I did not cry for her. Oh no, I wept for my damaged armor and the hours I spent hunting her down.

I know. I sound cold hearted, obsessed and overly into this.

Holy crap! Maybe I AM turning into a gamer after all!

Posted by Jenn @ 12:17 AM • Comments (260) • TrackBack (0)

August 24, 2006

But I like it here!

I am officially a level 12 (of 60). Hey, quit the laughing. I am proud of that! However, I am on my last quest on this particular part of the game. Now, my only quest left is to get on some creature and fly to another land. Another. Land. A land that I don't know. I mean, as much as I wandered around the current "country" (without a MAP), I know it. As well as I could know a land I got lost in a bazillion trillion times. (Because M is for MAP people!)

Let's be honest. I know that there are bigger, scarier things on the other side that will want to kill me for no reason. Things that will attack me for just walking in their area. Things that think that slaughtering my innocent Marama will benefit them somehow. I don't want to leave. Can't I just keep starting over with new characters and stay where I am? (I was emphatically told NO by the gamer males in the family.)

I have to go to the unknown land of Big Scary Things. When I freaked over the spiders, I was laughed at. When I got mad about the quest I should NOT have taken, I was laughed at. When I clung to the leg to the final person giving me a quest, I was told to "grow a set" and get on with it.

You are officially caught up to my game status. Tomorrow....the land of UNKNOWN. [Sidenote: Jason, if I get slaughtered more than a bazillion, trillion times, I am SO coming after you next. I am not known as the Aggroqueen ONLY because of the game. Just ask Clint.]

Wish me luck. Find me and heal me...many times. And could you tell all of my freelance bosses that this IS work. It IS work for me to play all day. It's a job to prove these gamer males in my house and the developers that I SO amuse (I know I amuse you guys...though a comment or email wouldn't kill you. Sure you have that lots of "work" on your my expansion pack, but everyone needs time to relax with a good blog. This is the one you should choose. I'm just saying!)

Off to lands far off into unknown worlds and freakishly odd looking creatures that want me dead. Oh, wait, that is the PTA. Nevermind!


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Posted by Jenn @ 10:07 PM • Comments (128) • TrackBack (0)

August 19, 2006

There's a bear. Where? Over there!

So at level 10 everyone gathered around me because something wonderful was about to happen.

Huh

"You can go get your bear form now, Mom. Aren't you excited?"

What?

"Seriously, Bear Form. You should be thrilled to go train and get this."

Pardon me?

Let's hurry and go get it before you log off.

Huh?

I figured it was really good if they were so happy about it. Yippee! Bear form. (But still.....huh?!)

Okay, but why? Bear? So what? I totally don't get it.

With great patience and a lot of eyerolling, they explained, "In bear form, when you shapeshift into a bear, you increase your attack power by 30! And your armor contribution by 180% (still have no idea what that means, but it sounds like I should be happy), and your health increases by 20."

*blank stare* "I still don't get it."

"JUST. Do. It!!"

So yeah, now I can be a bear. ROARRRR! Did I scare you?

But why do I care? Apparently I care becausae it is good for "tanking" so that things can "beat on me and I can take it" so that I can "hold the aggro" while someone else does the killing.

Nope, still have no idea why I need to care. Besides, Marama is so much cooler looking, can dance a helluva lot better and has some great skills. But hey, look! I can be a bear!!

Nope. Still with exclamation points, I don't get it and don't care.

Gamers? Can someone please explain this one because again, don't understand the hoopla over it. I don't understand how (or when) to use this amazing bear form and why I would need to do so. Yet, everyone is so happy that I got my bear form.

Huh?


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Posted by Jenn @ 07:11 PM • Comments (199) • TrackBack (0)

August 18, 2006

"M" is for Map. "T" is for Thanks for Nothing!

When playing World of Warcraft, there is a handy little feature that one should know about. Especially people like me who become so very lost playing any kind of game (PC, PS2, Gameboy...it doesn't matter) because I forget where I came from or how to get back there. I have no sense of direction in games. (Or in life for that matter, but we are not discussing that right now.)

This little feature that would be Oh So Handy back at say LEVEL ONE, is that if you hit "M" it brings up a MAP. As in a way to navigate your way around this god-forsaken land. As in I wouldn't have had to get lost, stay only on the very marked roads and never, ever stray from the roads for more than a few steps lest I become lost.

However, at level 9 they tell me.....

"M" is for Map.

Gee, thanks. That would have been helpful NINE LEVELS AGO, guys!


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Posted by Jenn @ 07:37 PM • Comments (95) • TrackBack (0)

August 17, 2006

Take every quest...just not EVERY quest

When I hit a level 6 or so (I forgot which, so let's say 6 just to be clear that I was NEW to this) out of 60 levels, Clint went out of town. Sure, most husbands might leave town with a "I'll miss you" or "Good luck with the kids", mine left with, "Be sure to play WoW or you will get out of practice."

"What do you mean 'Play WoW'?! While you are gone? When you are not there to tell me what I am doing? What if...I mean I could...What?!"

Laughing, he told me to chill out and just play. And here is the key phrase that will haunt him (because I will make sure it haunts him!), "Just accept every quest and do them for the practice."

Sure. Got it. Accept every quest. Practice. No problem. Except he left out one very important detail.

If you come across a man hiding on the side of the road that LOOKS LIKE SATAN and tells you to keep this little quest just between the two of you and then tells you to go slaughter innocent woodland creatures, you probably SHOULD NOT take that particular quest.

But Noooooo! He failed to mention that I should not take a quest from Dr. Evil Make My Game Life Hell. So, even though it seemed odd, I accepted the quest and slaughtered innocent woodland creatures. (I am so sorry, Bambi's Mom!) Feeling proud that I finished a quest on my own, I traipsed back to my inn where I was told in no uncertain terms that I was a very bad little Night Elf and have lost honor and must redeem myself. ("You should know better than to defile the forest by killing Nature's creatures! You must redeem yourself in the eyes of the Council if you wish to remain a friend of Teldrassil.")

The hell?

Because I trusted this Satan man (I am talking about this guy in the game and not my husband, though I was calling him names as well.), I had to do all these other things all around the freaking MAP to regain honor among my people. (Which of course I was killed multiple times trying to do these things to regain my honor!)

Can't sleep now! Must. Regain. Honor. Halfway through the first quest I notice movement behind me. My daughter had snuck out of bed and come to watch me play. Uh-oh! What had I said out loud when I realized I had been led astray and lost honor?

"Baby, you should be in bed. How long have you been there? Did Mommy say any bad words or words you don't know while you were listening?" (Seriously, I was ticked. I needed to know what I said that she might have heard while I was gaming.)

"No, Mommy. You said "son of a..." and "motherf", but nothing bad at all. You did not say stupid or shut up or anything bad."

Ooops. "Yes, you're right. I was good. Now go to bed, sweetie, Mommy has some quests to regain her honor because your father told me to trust a bad, bad man in the game and Mommy is mad!"

I guess I finished around 3:30am. Yes, 3:30 AM! I am just so proud that I did not call Clint and wake him up yelling. I mean, if I was awake and up because of this, he should be up. (I will admit I was halfway through dialing his number before I stopped myself.)

I did not play again until he got home. And when I relayed the story to him, did he feel badly? Did he apologize? NO! He laughed and said, "Oh, yeah, him. Don't do that one."

REALLY? Thanks, dear!


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Posted by Jenn @ 06:33 PM • Comments (5) • TrackBack (0)

August 11, 2006

Death to all the spiders!

So I accept this quest that takes me to a cave guarded by these spiders that are straight from the pits of hell. Hell I tell you! If I die one more time, the computer goes OUT THE WINDOW! Suddenly, I am not so happy with this friendly game and am cursing Jason for sending it.

Have I mentioned I am in fact an arachnaphobe? So, these big ugly spiders coming my way are NOT making me happy!

In my anger I decide those spiders are going to have to wait to kill me again. I have been instructed by the Males to talk to everyone with a question mark over their head or an exclamation mark. This leads me to Darania Silvershine. Apparently, her friend Iverron has not been around to see her and she is worried. She want me to go....guess where? That freaking spider cave.

I do not like Darania SIlvershine so much.

But even though I am into this for 2 hours, I am too mad to quit.

I managed to get past the spiders. I knew I would die. Die hard. And I did. Several times. But no! Once I manage to get that taken care of, I couldn't find the freaking dude she was so worried about.

Screaming like a woman possessed I started yelling at the Males in the house.

WHY ARE YOU NOT HELPING ME?! WHERE IS THIS MAN??! I HATE ALL OF YOU!

Laughing, they come to my pathetic rescue.

"You know you are never going to make it in this game if you can't get past level 4," my smart ass son said.

"Son, you are grounded. Get out. Mommy loves you, but get out," I reply with all the love of an obsessed gamer mom.

I finished the quest. Logged off in a huff and declared war on the game.

Thankfully it was summertime and the kids were able to have a free for all night as Mom is busy questing.



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Posted by Jenn @ 08:56 PM • Comments (10) • TrackBack (0)

August 10, 2006

What's the big deal?

Day One

After naming Marama and getting her as outfitted as I could with the entire family (baby girl included) watching on eager for me to just start playing already, Mom! Basically, I traipse around Teldrassil killing innocent, neutral animals who have no desire to harm me until I go after them. The kids watching me and trying to tell me every move to make is making me crazy! Finally, Clint kicks them out so I can learn how to play.

That's it? All I do is go attack innocent things that look like wolves or something? I have no idea why this game is so engaging. Okay, sure it let's out some aggression, but I cannot see why the male population of my home is so obsessed. I complete the little "kill all innocent animals who wish you no harm" quest.

At this point I feel a bit like the child song, "Little Bunny Foo-Foo, stomping through the forest, picking up the field mice and bopping them on the head." Fun, but why the so aggressive and obsessive?

Are they kidding me? An hour in, I have become lost 3 times, but finished my first quest. The graphics are awesome, but why the rage from the guys in my house playing?

This Mom has work to do, so I log out feeling quite proud of myself.

Which is great because my ass will totally be kicked the next time I play--or so I am told.



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Posted by Jenn @ 08:41 PM • Comments (11365) • TrackBack (0)